surgery on dime water table?

*ring*
*ring*
"hello?"
"sergiofromtimewarnercable"
"what?"
"sergiofromtimewarnercable"
"excuse me?"
"sergiofromtimewarnercable"
"surgery on dime water table?"
"SERGIO.... FROM.... TIME.... WARNER.... CABLE...."
"oh. I don't want to talk to you!"
*click*

the freshening

can i get something off my chest here?
i really like old prince, you know, back when he was called prince and not The Artist
also. i hate people
as of september 1, it will be a felony to harm an animal
i do not speak french
i think i really do want to make a movie now
i'm really ready to do it now
a movie about fun at parties
then maybe a couple of others
then when my name is up there and i'm getting praised at cannes
i want to start making porn

i hate people. but i won't hold your peopleness against you
it's harder to get out of porn than to get into it
i am no longer a people
i've decided that i'm a cat
and as such
harming me
will be a felony
also, i need a new litterbox

but now that i'm not a people, i'm not filled with that self-loathing that was so 80s
there was self-loathing in the 90s, but it was very 80s to do it
now when you self-loathe, it's 80s, which is cool, because then you're being "retro" instead of merely uncool
which makes it cool now
but i don't need to be cool. i need to be able to have a reason to lick my genetalia in public

you're living in a fantasy

it's hard to put my finger on what i feel right now. dizzy, nauseated, feverish. some mysterious affliction trapping me into sporadic moments of being able to do something useful. keeping my mind trapped in this serious battle that i have with my own body.

no, it's not that sad little twit battle that most women have with their own bodies. "i hate myself, i'm not a size 2." fuck that shit. go eat a tapeworm. give up your twiddling little life and go live in an area where survival is key. where you can lose all of the weight you want due to dysentary. but that all sounds bitter, doesn't it?

i guess i'm just angry with my body. we have an adversarial relationship as i believe that it holds me back from doing what i need to do with it's petty weaknesses. its flu-getting. its low-blood sugaring. if evolution is to be believed, then shouldn't i have progressed past some of this stupidity by now? *sighs* no, i guess not. but i often think that in caveman days i would've been burned at the stake or at the very least left out on a rock to die by now.

in the midst of these spells where womanly cramps hit in waves on top of the nausea from low bloodsugaring along with the brain bubbling of a fever, those fates sound... well... reasonable. good. productive. like for better or for worse, things would be settled. but i'm playing with myself. i know that's about as twiddling a concern as those wanting to be skinny. that doesn't diminish my own anger with my body, though.

i had a dream once where i was visited by time-traveling floating heads. they had come back in time to hold me personally responsible for their not being able to exist from a poor choice i'd made in my life. that natural human evolution would've been to finally do away with the body and for heads to levitate on their own brain power. that i'd chosen a life more based in carnality was robbing them of their own existance (i guess i'd made a different choice before? i don't know. it makes about as much sense as a spielberg movie, i understand that).

on reflection, i see that as my own fantasy of escaping this prison of my own body... becoming a being without such shuddering bouts of pain.