RSVP me in the negative.

are you sure?
quite

so as i go over the list of attendees, i see names of people that i cared about, that presumably cared about me. all of us such self-involved assholes that we have not kept up with one another lo these 10 sad years since the days where wearing the biggest cowbell meant something positive. although, in light of the eating disorders so prevalent amongst teens... cowbells?

but anyways. it's the 10 year reunion for me. something i've been alternately looking forward to and dreading for... well, i guess 10 years. any longer than that would be unlikely, and worse, pathetic.

like a modern slender santa claus i went through my naughty and nice list trying to figure out not so much who was nice or naughty to me, but who just didn't make me feel bored and tired all the time. i saw one or 2 names on the guestlist of people that i liked enough to stand through a party with. i have to constantly focus myself on ohw weird everyone thought i was because i was weird. weirdly acting out because i was bored.

must remember the 80s horror movies i'd watch rather than go to parties i was invited to that i knew would be too soon broken up by the police, i'd have to run away and likely drive very drunk people home. at least at home the police didn't bust in and at the worst i might have to drag a drunken parent over to a couch.

this sounds bitter again, doesn't it? it's not. i just think that since i'm a busy person, i have to look carefully at what engagements i send myself to, and i think my time would be better spent taking photos and opening galleries. sure, these things are put off-able for the most part, but... meh.