there first was a young boy named rich
who's parents thought donna was a bitch
sent rich to catholic school
so she drowned them in a pool
and left their bloated corpses in a ditch

psychocatblah: ben wants to know why you don't just fix a monkey
squeakzilla: fix a monkey? are they broken?
squeakzilla: or does he mean have one fixed so I can have unlimited monkey sex with it? That's just wrong, Ben. Seek help.
psychocatblah: i think he meant so it won't jack off so much
squeakzilla: I do not hitnk fixing it will help. I know men who have been fixed and they still spend far too much time spanking THEIR monkey.
psychocatblah: yeah! ryan's fixed and that monkey has it out all the time
squeakzilla: heheh
squeakzilla: see?
psychocatblah: how about a female monkey?
squeakzilla: 'sides, would ben want to be fixed? i think it's awfully cruel just to avoid a little spunk on the curtains.
squeakzilla: Hrm. I dunno... wonder if they are as prolific masterbaters
psychocatblah: ben wonders why , if monkeys are as smart as they're suppsoed to be (with the use of tools), we haven't been finding dildo-shaped toys in the woods
squeakzilla: he should watch an ape exhibit for a while, and see what the females do with any sticks that may have fallen out of trees and look at the corners on the ground level of monkey bars. They have found them. :-)

no friendly remedy
in my soup
to whisper sedative words
or incite sedition
goodbye withdrawal
hello anxiety

there once was a girl from spring, texas
who did away with all her exes
she made quite a scene
with her killing spree
she won't be 'round long to vex us