should my mom wear a thong?
ever since last night's slightly drunken shopping trip taken with my mother
to "down town spring" aka 1960 FM there's been a brewing controversy
in my head about what to do about this. the night started out innocently enough.
we were going to go to the hong kong market. ryan had wanted to do this and
i wasn't going to let the fact that i drank half of 2 bottles of wine deter
me. mom also wanted to go along. we don't see my parents all that often, so
drunk or not, we feel like we should spend time together and since much of my
relationship with my mother is based around shopping it seemed to make its own
drunken sense.
ryan enjoys japanese culture. i enjoy asian food. mom... well... mom was there
to give us bad directions, i guess. forgetting the 20-minute trip that turned
45 minute trip to the market, we went inside the converted food lion off of
vetran's memorial. i firstly picked up an asian pear that i thought my mother
might enjoy and some thai peppers that i thought dad
would like.
there was much ooohing and awww ing, fussing about sugar content and fretting
over the level of glaze on the eyes of the swordfish and we were out of there.
full of soy milk, exotic teas, and toothpicks.
we then headed to half price books where i found a david sedaris book on tape
"barrel fever" that i just had to have for the trip home and then
a few little things for gifts. also bought dad a dr. seuss green eggs and ham
watch. dad used to read that story to me to get me to go to sleep. in fact,
this oration skills with that book were such that he won 2nd place regionally
for reading that book to the toastmasters. in my own mind, i picutre the 1st
place winner tucking all of the balding, grey haired men into bed for night
night. sweet dreams!
finally i thought it was time mom saw a sex shop. it is right by where her
school administration building is. this concerns her. i told her that people
who stayed at work to monitor the door of zone de erotique needed another hobby.
perhaps i'm wildly underestimating the wiley SISD adminisration. maybe they
were there. but then they'd have to admit that they were watching....
tons of cool catherine coatney stuff there. way out of my price range. i love
it, though. tried some things on. loved them. had meaningful discussions with
my mom about the advantages of pvc over leather. she tells me that dad would
never take her someplace like this. that what she really wants is sexy lingerie
for xmas. and birthday. you know, whatever.
not to put too much undue pressure on my parents sex life, but i wonder how
much it would really get used. i buy her a jacket, as i did this year, she swears
she's going to wear it to tatters. this is a nice thing to say, i guess. but
what if i get her that little lace chemise? "i'm going to wear that until
your father violates me repeatedly with his long, hard cock! and after the cum
stains are too much for us to get off, then i'll give it to goodwill."
i'd nod, doing my best mulder-face. "if that's what you want to do....it's
your birthday i guess..."
